The Hidden Step
www.necouncil.org/the
hidden
step
In an experiment at the University of Michigan, an instrument that measures
fatigue was used to observe the effects of praise on our physiology. When
tired children were given a word of praise, the device showed an immediate
upward surge of new energy. When they were criticized or discouraged, their
energy lessened dramatically. Science cannot prove the power of praise, but it
can measure it.
Praise nurtures self worth
There is an inner force, a feld of energy within each person that seeks value.
Human beings are constantly looking for ways to value this force. This feld
of energy is called “self-worth.”
Imagine self-worth as a cup or container. At birth it is empty. Growing up,
as we receive positive feedback about ourselves from our surroundings, this
container flls up. When the cup is full, we feel confdent, happy, and content.
When left empty, we feel unsure, needy, and insecure. Giving value to the self
worth is as necessary as food is to the body.
Devaluing messages empty this container, causing us to look for ways to add
value to it. An angry teacher, a cruel friend, or a mean sibling can all contrib-
ute to devaluing the self-worth, creating voids that carry into adulthood. As
adults, we look for ways to give signifcance to our self-worth. Filling up the
cup is as instinctive as the need to sleep or eat.
Some give their self worth signifcance by making money, gaining power, get-
ting their name in the paper, boasting about themselves, and a hundred other
ways. We respond positively to those who recognize us and value our self-
worth.
Why is this important during the phone interview? Every person you speak
with currently in your life, including the hiring manager on the other side of
the phone, hungers for validation. To win him or her over, recognize their
worth.
Thank, compliment, redirect
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